monochrom's Porn Tub Punch: Drinking The Essence Of Technology Away. Pretty Good Performance, Featuring YOU, My Friend.

If you can say that porn is what drives technology to our households again and again, and if you can say further that most porn is simply about "putting sperm" on a female's body in a more or less Jackson Pollock-esque way ... why not try to come to the somewhat wacky but nice and handy conclusion that the very essence of this fucking stupid game can be calculated by a quite arbitrary method of counting porn movies at a randomly chosen video rental store somewhere in this post-free-love-San-Francisco-town. The number of films available there is to be multiplied with the number of cumshots on an average porn DVD (that we found through an empirically correct but gruelling field trial watching a great number of porn movies in fast forward mode). This number again is to be multiplied with the amount of sperm a male body (within the age and health parameters for acting in porn movies) produces, as it is (probably) contained here: www.wikipedia.org. Thus we get a basic unit (liquid) of what people call "technological advance". This unit can then be filled in a bowl, which is then going to be served at the opening party. Of course the bowl will only contain fake sperm just as it is in most of the earlier porn movies because we couldn't "come up" with such an amount of real sperm just by ourselves. Please apologize. But that's your luck, because now you can drink it. And be (probably) sure: We'll (probably) mingle some liquor in it to get you partying (probably) really good. We hope in the end we all will feel a little gender-troubled but proud of gulping down technological advance in this highly concentrated form and maybe you have some real sex with somebody in the end. P.S.: A highly theoretical lecture comes along with it as if this was the serious part of a serious event to be remembered... Cheers!