Applause.

‘Thank you. Now’s the time for us to figure out how well we have succeeded in realising the old plan and to introduce the new plan. Now what have been the aims of the last five years? First and foremost it was political survival. My fellow comrades, here we have succeeded!’

Applause.

‘We all know that times are dire for us; it’s hard to survive, especially since the downfall of the non-Unterzögersdorfian Soviet Union. Unfortunately, we have again failed to reach our second aim: development of heavy industry. This will remain an enormous challenge for us. Not only in this context must we deal with three basic problems.
Lack of resources.
Lack of workforce.
Lack of know-how.
Lack of space.
‘How to cope with this and other problems is the concern of the new five-year-plan which I am going to explain in detail.
A wonderful achievement of the last years is the large-scale administrative reform. Maybe some of our guests who were also here last year can remember how complicated the entry was when we opened our frontier to tourists for the first time. It took me almost all day to process the applications. Unfortunately, many of the guests had to wait for up to three hours until they could enter our country. Whereas this year everything was a lot easier.’

‘Yes! Yes!’

‘We still aren’t perfect, but we have improved a lot. Our biggest technical achievement so far has helped a lot in this fight against our bureaucracy. A supercomputer which represents the transition to the age of information. It is our pride and joy!’

‘Yes! Yes!’

‘As it turned out today, we still have problems handling the new technology. Some applications which had been sent electronically in advance have got lost and we had to reissue them by hand. Yet, I am confident that we can overcome these mistakes soon. The last issue of the old plan would be to mention the careful opening of our little enclave towards the outside. Since last year we allow people to visit us for one weekend every year. This is very, very important for various reasons. Even though this is new to us, since we have always lived in great isolation, which nonetheless was of vital importance. But now the times have changed. We need intellectual, scientific impact from outside. To put it clearly: we are heavily underdeveloped. We need to catch up! And we are not stupid. Provided with information, we are capable of understanding everything. I am looking forward to talking with our guests for the next two days. Now let me explain the new plan!’

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